No one knowingly marries someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. No one seeks out a self-centered, self-absorbed man who lacks any capability of empathy for anyone but himself. But unfortunately, many women find themselves baited and trapped in this very situation. But how? How did I get myself into this? How did things end up this way? I think the…
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For someone who is newly separated, going through a divorce, or still cleaning up the destruction and devastation after their divorce, it can be hard to think about having a fulfilling life in the future. It can be hard to imagine yourself living in peace with hope and joy for the future when you’re still figuring out therapy for the…
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Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about…
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I thought… I thought I married a supportive man. I thought I married an unselfish man. I thought I married a loving man. I thought I married a faithful man. It took me way too long to realize that I did not. How about you? It is a sad truth that I am finding out many come to realize for…
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Domestic violence or abuse has many dynamics, adultery is just one of them. Let me explain. About a year ago, a few people from church and I, were making conversation about abuse. I cannot remember exactly what was said, but I do remember one phrase that has troubled me since. One woman said, “My ex-husband cheated [committing adultery] on me but he…
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I did not always have high standards or proper boundaries for myself. Sadly, there are times in my life that I allowed other people to treat me so very poorly, that I had no value. Not in how I treated myself, and certainly not in how I expected others to treat me. I did not even know what God’s standards…
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Have you ever dreaded a family gathering? I know I have. Have you ever felt great anxiety – or someone else noticed that you seemed very tense – before a relative came for a visit? Before someone really took the time to explain boundaries to me or offer me one of the many books on the subject, I lacked boundaries with…
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During my first few sessions of therapy, I asked my counselor… “What was wrong with me?” I had been told by several (abusive) people that I was… “Just like your mother!” And as crazy as I was feeling, I was starting to believe them. (It’s a very common abusive/toxic person tactic to tell you things like this to manipulate you into…
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I know things are hard. Really, really hard! Being a single parent is tough. Living as “divorced” is not always fun. And I know it hurts right now. Sometimes it’s their words… sometimes their actions. Things not only seem… but they are… downright unfair. I know you want this to be easy… but it’s not. It feels like you’re being punished….
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First, let me say… I’m sorry… I am so sorry for what you are going through. I’m so sorry for how you feel. For your broken heart. For the load that you are now carrying. I know it’s hard. I know you feel all alone. I know when you walked down that church aisle, years or decades ago, you never thought…
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