For someone who is newly separated, going through a divorce, or still cleaning up the destruction and devastation after their divorce, it can be hard to think about having a fulfilling life in the future. It can be hard to imagine yourself living in peace with hope and joy for the future, when you’re still figuring out therapy for the kids, money to pay bills, and/or a career for yourself.
We often ask, what good can come from all of this?
And we may know that God works things all out for good because it says so in His Word.
He will restore you! But do we really embrace that and believe it in our hearts and souls?
I believe in order to come to terms with your divorce, you need to work through the 7 phases of divorce recovery but also, embrace and reclaim your life after divorce.
What does “reclaiming your life” mean?
If you’ve been taken back by God from an abusive (adulterous, foolish, or addicted) husband, then reclaiming your life is very important. It’s taking each part of your life and learning to reclaim what was lost or misplaced during a marriage (or during the divorce). Things you gave up to circle your life around the created instead of the Creator. It’s deciding that you will be a victor over your circumstances rather than a victim, even if that’s hard.
I reclaimed my life, and God restored it. You can too! God keeps His promises!
Here are just some of the ways you can reclaim your life after divorce.
Reclaim Your Hope.
Hope is knowing something good can come out of the difficult circumstances in our life. We often can’t control our circumstances and especially the actions of others, but we can control how we see those issues, how we accept them, and how we proceed forward.
God has made promises that our circumstances won’t break us. We might be bent, hurt, and angry (and even mourn) but we won’t be crushed by the weight of it all.
[God] will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged. – Isaiah 42:3
Reclaiming our hope is trusting in those promises and experiencing God with us during this trial. It’s knowing and trusting that He is our Healer, Provider, and Protector. We keep scripture close to encourage and remind us when the enemy tries to tempt us with lies. In the end, we end up growing Spiritually and in our faith because we’re always keeping God first and we count on Him for everything.
He wants to prove His love for you, so let Him care for you during this time. He won’t leave you or abandon you. He’s a good, good Father!
Reclaim Your Emotional Healing.
Reclaiming your emotional healing is deciding that you’re going to get well and be well before, during, or after divorce. It’s not continuing dysfunction from your marriage or your family of origin – you can change that. It’s reclaiming your home and how you handle life in the future.
It’s healing your heart so you don’t get into the same type of marriage because you didn’t heal your heart first.
Do the work on yourself to get healthy and heal emotionally? It’s good for yourself and for your kids who are watching. It’s hard work, and sometimes the honesty (from the Holy Spirit or trusting friends, or counselors) stings, but you’ll be better for it in the long run.
Ignoring the emotionally healing doesn’t make it go away, it just prolongs the end point.
Reclaim Your Peace.
Reclaiming your peace is not allowing those who want to push your buttons, bring dysfunction into your life, or steal your peace to do so. You have the right to set boundaries on your life and on your home so that you can live in peace.
Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. – Romas 12:18 NLT
If you are unable to stay peaceful because of ______, then _____ needs to go!
It’s about self-care… and you are worth it!
You also need to learn how to…
Reclaim Your Power.
In order to live in peace with situations, uncontrollable circumstances, and toxic people that you can’t ever be rid of, you need to reclaim your power.
Does it/they still bother you? That’s because you need to take back what or who controls you!
Do you feel anxious or get triggered when someone says something or you’re around someone? Then reclaim your power over your feelings. You can only control you. And no one can control you unless you let them.
When we reclaim our power we learn to stand on the solid Rock that is God’s foundation and then we refuse to be blown in the wind by every word, phrase, or circumstance.
We can be rooted so deeply in God, that we can weather any storm.
Reclaim Your Financial Stability.
Lastly, we need to reclaim our finances and financial stability after before, during, and divorce. Things like creating a budget, having an emergency fund so we don’t have to rely on other people to bail us out, and deciding what we could and would do to support our family.
Divorce is a new chapter that you get to decide where the path goes. Do what you love to do! Find a way to make money from doing just that. We all have gifts and God wants us to use them. And if we work really hard at that, God will provide.
What if God took you back so you could do so much better for this world as a divorced woman?
Prefer videos? Then watch as I talk about each.
Reclaiming your life is taking back what is rightfully yours. Your gifts from God. Your hope in His promises. Your right to be emotionally healthy and live in peace with those around you, especially in your own home.
Reclaiming your life is taking it back from the trauma of betrayal and/or divorce… and embracing a new life while moving forward.
You are not what happened to you. You are a victorious warrior with a purpose and a plan to do good for the Kingdom.
How will (or are) you reclaiming your life after divorce?
God bless your healing journey,