I am going to let you in on a little secret.
Journaling can help to heal you emotionally, after divorce.
How do I know?
Because I’ve seen it first hand.
I first really started journaling in 2009. I had just kicked my husband out for infidelity. Through one whole hardbound journal, I spilled out all of the feelings and emotions… as well as the cruelty… that I was experiencing. I put into words the things my heart could not explain. I cried. I grieved. And cried some more.
I wrote Bible verses to remind me of God’s promises. I just wrote and wrote, without editing (no spell check there 😉 ), until I could not feel anything else inside. I was empty.
Then I would stick myself in my Bible and sing praises in church (or listening to my iPod), to be filled again. I was filling myself with hope, encouragement, and life… because it was all I needed at that point. To lay at His feet. I knew that was the ONLY true fountain of healing.
Sadly, I had to repeat this process a few other times… filling up several books before I could see that God wanted me to keep Him at the center of my life… not my troubles and certainly not an abusive marriage. I thought God cared more about keeping the marriage together… than me and my faith.
Oh, how wrong I was!
During my marriage… when life was good, I barely had the time or the energy to pick up my journals and write. But each time there was another discovery day, it was my journal and God, that was there to listen to my every word, every feeling, and every hurt.
In the darkness of those sleepless nights.
Now, I own three full journals of all the same type of writing. (Does history really repeat itself??)
But more importantly, with each one, I can see a stronger me! I have evolved into a woman of worth… and FAITH! And these journals represent a time when I didn’t know I had either.
I can see how far I’ve come. How much healing I have done.
You can heal too!
Some people destroy their journals when they move on. But not me! I want them to show… my scars… my truth… and my growth as I matured in my faith. I once needed constant reminding… that I deserve better.
Now I live it. I believe it.
And I mentor others.
What do I write about?
1.) You do not need to be a writer. Just write. Nothing perfect. Just feelings. Hurts. The raw truth. Clean out the dirty, nasty, truth about you, about what you are feeling, and what you’ve been through. (You can decide to keep, bury, or burn it later…) Just get it all out on paper… until you are empty. Healing cannot be bypassed. It must be worked through… to find healing. Journaling is just an outlet.
2.) Make lists. List those losses. Mourn what you thought you had… what you wished for. List the things about your old life that you miss. Grieve those losses. Divorce is a death. Write what you need to forgive – about yourself and about others. List the pros of being divorced. List the new beginnings. List your future goals… think of all that you can do now!!
3.) Write His Word. What God says about you. Remember my graphic in that last post? (It’s from my journal, dated 2013.) Write God’s promises… to reclaim your hope and paste them up or keep rereading them in your journal.
Where to buy journals.
You can throw your hair in a bun, put on your favorite leggings (the pink ones with the ice cream cones, of course), brush your teeth (don’t forget to do that!!), and head to your local Walmart or dollar store to pick up a journal and a colored pen – can’t journal without one of those. 😉
Or you can shop online, the choice is yours.
Here are my favorite places to find frugal, pretty cute journals online:
This Is the Moment – Christian Journal – ONLY $5.00
from: DaySpring Cards Inc.
Lastly, one of the reasons it is good to journal through your divorce healing is because if someday you decide to write a book, you can pull out your journals and start from there. Your story will be easier to remember… the feelings that you felt, the struggles you made it through, and growth that took place. As you heal from the past and move on with your life, you’ll be better equipped to help others with your story… written while things were still raw.
Have you been journaling through your healing?
God bless your healing journey,
I also wrote in journals throughout my separation and divorce and kept them. Your advice is so right on Jen. Occasionally, I will read them and realize what a different woman I am now from then. From broken to healed;
from weak to strong; from low self-esteem to a blessed woman of God! Thank you again for speaking from your
heart and speaking healing to broken women! Bless you & your ministry!
You are so right too Pam. I can see the same in my journals as well. Thank you for sharing your healing. I am so happy for you!
Hi Jen, I love everything I am reading on your website. I too have started journaling and made 2 lists. The first one is “Things I’m going to miss about him” and the other list is “things I’m not going to miss about him”. I felt I had to go through the emotions of everything I’m going to miss about him to move on. It’s very hard, but necessary. To my surprise, my miss about him list is at 15. The not going to miss is at 37. It really does help somewhat to see it written down on paper. I do have a long way to go, but I feel I’m on the right path to getting there!
Very well said. Thanks for sharing what you learned from this divorce healing journey. God bless!
How can some churches. Still punish you for your past?
Divorced can’t be a minister, usher, decon?
I just don’t understand, God forgives our past.
Why not our church?