Finding Your Own Worth (After Divorce)

Who are YOU? Are you who people say you are?

Where do you find your worth? Where does anyone find their worth?

Truthfully most of us find our worth in what people say about us, how people see us, and how those closest to us treat us. Or… what our “image” says that we are.

Divorced?

What does the image “divorced” bring to mind?

What about “single mom?”

What about abandoned?

Cheated on?

For that last one… I get visions of “I am just not good enough… so I need to be replaced.” Anyone else?

The phrase that keeps coming up for me on this topic is…

The Israelites’ bodies may have been free from the oppression, but their hearts were still in Egypt. – Author Unknown

Did you catch that?

Their hearts and probably their value as human beings were still tied up in the lives they had in Egypt. That is where they found their worth and security. They knew they were taken care of… even if it was abuse and oppression at the hands of their oppressor, Pharaoh. They could not accept the love and gifts of freedom given to them by God. Especially if they had to wait for it.

My precious Sister, God has freed you from your oppressor… because He loves you! He wants so much more for you. And He has a better future ahead… if you’ll just trust Him and wait. 

How do I know? I’ve been there!

While I was going through my divorce, and for a time after, I had a really hard time with my self-worth. I had read my Bible for over 15 years, and although I believed every word in it, I doubted God’s love for me. I didn’t understand God’s heart… for me. I didn’t feel special… or like I was anyone’s precious daughter… or His beloved.

Why?

Because no person on this earth had ever treated me that way. With such love and care. Like I shared before, I felt like I had no value. Where was I finding my worth? In people… who were abusive!

From people, I heard… or believed that I was…

Too emotional.

Too loud. A big mouth.

Not worth anything.

Controlling.

Marching to the beat of my own drum.

Dumb, stupid, and couldn’t talk right… or spell right. Always making mistakes.

No one deserves to be treated like that. But no one was telling me THAT, either. No one told me what I was experiencing was psychological abuse… although at times it was VERY hard to miss. It is abuse that contaminates your self-worth… and your value as a human being.

Is this what you’ve experienced?

Where to find your worth?

So now that we know where the damage came from… where should we look for our worth and acceptance? I am sure you know what I am going to say next.

Yep… your Heavenly Father!

In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us. Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. – Colossians 3:11-12 NLT

But that seems like the easy answer to this tough process. And that it is. It takes time, to heal your heart (after divorce). There is no doubt about that.

What you need to know… and do…

Know that you are loved.

Say good things about yourself.

Telling yourself what God says about you in His word.

Build your faith in God.

Accept His love towards you.

Trust that He is calling you back to Him.

He hasn’t left you and will never abandon you.

He will take care of your, protect you, and provide for you… in His perfect time.

But practically speaking… Mentor Jen, to you my friend and reader… get out your journal or a piece of paper. Then, write down what God says about you in His Word, from the graphic below. His promises.

As you write these things… speak them out loud. Most of us learn by hearing. When you hear these truths about yourself… then you can start accepting them as your worth. You have worth in Jesus.

This is what God says about… YOU! Fill in the blanks with your own name.

If you’d like a standard-sized printable sheet for this graphic then sign up to receive emails and I’ll send you a link to my Encouraging Printables Library!!

It’s not prideful to claim these truths about yourself. No… it’s standing up to the enemy – and those in this world who want you to feel as bad about yourself as they feel about themselves – and saying I will NOT allow you to keep me in this bondage of self-hate and self-defeat. Do not buy the lie that loving and caring for yourself is selfish or prideful.

God loves YOU! You need to claim His love for you. Accept His view of you. And walk in that freedom!

It is a powerful message to your worth when you see yourself through God’s eyes. When you know how He values you. That power gives you your worth. And when you accept it… you will know you are worthy of great things… for God’s Kingdom.

[socialrocket-tweet quote=”If God is for you… who can be against you? Even in divorce!” tweet=”If God is for you… who can be against you? Even in divorce!”]

How are you replacing those false beliefs about yourself with truth?

God bless your healing journey,