In the last couple of months, I’ve gotten to know Christina Lynn, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, with Lynn Financial, LLC. I told her about the reader survey I did in early 2018 where readers shared they wanted financial help and advice to survive divorce.

So today, we’re going to discuss how Christina financially survived divorce as well as how she used her newfound wisdom to create a rewarding career for herself. It’s a lengthy interview but it’s an inspiring story that will encourage and empower you as you face your financial struggles.

According to a 2012 report from the U.S. Government Accountability Office, the average women’s household income fell by 41 percent, almost double the loss men experience. (Source)

Christina has allowed me to ask her a few questions to share her story and wisdom with you. Thank you, Christina!

Where you a stay-at-home mom? What steps did you take to financially survive during and after your divorce?

Yes, I was a stay-at-home mom for 7 years. I never considered divorce an option. I was dead-set dedicated to being a devout wife, no matter the cost to me. I had become so crippled by the problem though, that I was starting to not function properly. I cried all the time, my immune system was strangely weak, and I was concerned about my mental health.

When the problem escalated to a point where I could no longer handle it, I left with my purse and my two kids in hand. I had no plan. No money stashed. No clothes. No kid gear. No apartment rented. Just my luxury car, a purse full of animal crackers and wipes, and my two beautiful (and scared) kids. And I never set foot in the house again. (For the record, I do NOT recommend this as a course of action!)

He immediately canceled our joint credit cards and drained the joint bank account. All of our other assets were in his name. I had one credit card in my name, but it had a $500 spending limit. It was brutal to face the reality that my ultimate dream of having a united family had just shattered. On top of that, I was in serious financial doo-doo.

I am so grateful I had my parents nearby, who graciously took me in and gave us food and shelter for 3 months until the temporary financial support was ordered by the court. But even with temporary custody, I didn’t have enough to make ends meet. So, I signed up for Financial Peace University {Affilate Link for Home Study Kit} at a church, to find a solution to my money problem. I walked away from that program with a budget and my sole credit card cut-up into smithereens. It was terrifying to think that I didn’t have a safety net but I was ready to master my personal finances.

I preferred to continue staying at home with the kids, but I knew that was no longer an option. So, my family helped me to brainstorm and consider industries, fields, and positions. I begrudgingly started applying for jobs. After not working outside the home in 7 years, I had to downgrade my job search. I started to look for entry-level positions. Finally, I found an entry-level position working at a small financial institution, selling unsecured small business loans. I wasn’t proud of the work I was doing, but I was so desperate to obtain a job that would allow me just enough flexibility to handle the daycare shuffle, that I sucked it up.

Although challenging working there and working out daycare issues, I honed the money skills I learned in Financial Peace University. I excelled at the job and saved up enough money to float me for 3 months of expenses, so I could start my own business. I haven’t hit gold (yet), but I have never looked back. I am loving what I do now, and am so grateful for the tough experience I went through in returning back to work after divorce. It gave me the grit I needed to start my own business. That fire refined my personality in a powerful way. I think it was the training I needed to develop the entrepreneurial skills that I need now.

What have you learned from rebuilding your life from a married woman to a divorced single mother?

I have learned to enjoy the game of life. While healing from a shattered heart, I rebuilt my life from the ground up. It was helpful for me to address the different building blocks of my life, so I could make sure that my new life wouldn’t be unbalanced. I knew my kids had to be the main focus.

Now, on my own, I get to address the other areas with my individual style and preference, on my own time, and with my own money.

• For my career: I found the field I wanted to work in (investments) and I started at the bottom of the ladder.
• For my home: I found an affordable home in the right location, that was a safe place to raise my kids.
• For my spirituality: I found a new church home.
• For my friendships: I lost most friendships in the divorce and had to start over (lots of coffee dates).
• For my mind: I enrolled in a master’s degree program.
• For my body: I worked out 6 days a week and started running.

All of these things I had to do on a smaller, cheaper scale than what I had done while I was married. For example, I had to work out at home, instead of paying for an expensive gym membership. And, I had to live in a cramped townhouse, versus a 5,000 square foot masterpiece home. Yet, I appreciated them. Appreciation transformed into enjoyment.

In essence, I learned to enjoy the “sacrifices” I had to make in my lifestyle. Because now I was safe, at peace, and was full of hope for the future.

Now as an investment specialist, what advice do you give to women who are facing divorce or after a divorce?

I advise you to create a budget and stick to it like glue. A budget is what is going to help you weather this storm of transition. It’s going to be tough to financially shift from being married to being single. Plus, you have to deal with the expense of the divorce itself. Divorce is likely the biggest financial move you will EVER make. Give yourself some grace to find your new financial footings.

Get help from a financial expert. Read books about money and budgeting. But, most importantly, stick to your budget. It feels like a chore at first, but soon it will mutate into a feeling of freedom and pride.

The ultimate goal with budgeting is to spend less than you earn, and build in a savings plan. Don’t let this idea about “saving money” overwhelm you. You are likely in the stage where saving money isn’t a possibility yet, but you need to set a destination in your GPS. That GPS destination is… financial freedom. In order to get there, you’ll need to go through the cities of “Budgeting” and “Saving Money” first.

What are the best practices when getting back on your feet and continuing to financially thrive as a divorced woman?

Best Practice #1: Don’t use a credit card

Even if you have to feed your children beans and rice, for 6 or 7 days of the week, refuse to put money on the credit card. You may be thinking: I have to use a credit card because I don’t have any money. If that’s the case, seek out help from a charity. I guarantee you that there is help in your community if you don’t have money to feed your children, or don’t have a place to stay. It may be humiliating. But, you should suck it up and get help from a charity (call #211 or your local HelpLine for charities in your area) if you are at the point that you don’t have money to pay for basic necessities.

Best Practice #2: Create a budget

I used the budget system prescribed in Financial Peace University with Dave Ramsey. Jen will talk more about budgeting in an upcoming blog article and with me on her YouTube channel. (Also, see below.)

Best Practice #3: Protect your credit

Run your credit report [it’s FREE!] and make sure things are accurate and up to date. I had a client once who found out that she was in default on an account that she thought her ex-husband had paid off years ago. She is still working to improve her credit from that oversight. Don’t let that be you!

Best Practice #4: Don’t cash out of your retirement

I had to cash out my $6,000 IRA when I got divorced, in order to pay for living expenses while I was applying for jobs. It hurt. I had to pay taxes PLUS a penalty for early withdrawal. Not only was that not efficient financially (taxes and penalty), but I gave up the opportunity for that account to grow into over $100,000 (*potential, not guaranteed) for my future.

Perhaps you don’t have any choice but to cash your retirement account. I feel your pain. However, work hard and be creative in order to avoid cashing out of your retirement account.

Why should women who are going through a divorce or after reach out to a financial advisor?

It’s common for women to feel overwhelmed, disillusioned, and fearful of their finances post-divorce. That’s because you are out on your own now, dealing with a major hit to your bottom line (the cost of the divorce, the loss of 50%+ of your assets, and the loss of 50%+/- of your household income).

Financial experts like me can help people look at their financial situation with an objective, professional eye, and help get you set up on a plan for financial success in the future. We can help you determine what type of savings or investment account to have. Tips on how to make the budget work. Warnings of common financial pitfalls. We are the cheerleader to keep you revved up to get your financial affairs in order.

Whether you enlist the help of someone like me or pursue the DIY investment strategy – just don’t sit on the bench! Get in the financial game.

What services do you offer? How can readers connect with you and/or seek your services?

I offer free 30-minute consultations. Tell me your story and I’ll give you my expert feedback. It may make sense to work together or it may not. Either way, I’ll do my best to give you applicable tips that will send you in the right direction.

Here are the services I offer:

• Divorce Financial Analyzing: Customized financial reporting and facilitation during the divorce process
• Starting an investment: 401(k), Rollovers, IRAs, 403(b)s, etc,
• Consolidating old investments: 401(k), Rollovers, IRAs, 403(b)s, etc.
• Business Retirement Benefits: 401(k), IRAs, Group Life Insurance, etc.
• Safe Money Strategies: protecting your principal, minimizing taxes, growing money modestly, getting prepared for retirement
• Life Insurance: Legacy planning, mortgage & debt protection
• Tax-Free Retirement Income: alternative investment strategies to avoid taxes and Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs)
• Income Guaranteed for Life: investment strategies to never run out of money
• Disability Insurance
• Long-term Care Insurance
• Estate Planning Basics: avoid probate fees, time delays, public exposure, and family drama

Connect with Christina Lynn at her website. Or grab her FREE eBook 12 Tips for Returning to Work After Divorce when you sign up for her email newsletter.

What do you think of Christina’s overcomer story and how does it relate to yours? No matter where you are on this divorce journey, I hope this helped you to realize that you too CAN financially survive divorce, just like Christina and I both did.

May God bless your restoration journey,

Related Posts:

• The Dangers of Long-Term Separation
• You Need a Budget (Rules to Financial Freedom)
• Rebuilding Financially After Divorce

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