Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself. – C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
God Comes to Remodel Your House
In the process of healing from divorce, God often has to start by gutting the insides. Nothing is savable. Everything has to go. Some old habits and friends have to go with all the gunk. God takes the heart and scraps it out. Cleaning out the garbage from the past. Removing all of the rotten, moldy walls and ceilings. Removing major support beams, or who you thought was your support system.
The foundation needs a major overhaul. Things build on the wrong soil often do. Have you depended too much on others? Relying on yourself? And not enough on Him?
Something stunk, so everything had to be removed. The smell was coming from long-ingrained dysfunction. It was never healthy anyway.
It’s time for a remodel.
God had to empty me.
Empty me of the things and people that held me back from being filled with the Spirit.
I was allowing others to hold me back from my destiny. I was a doormat. A people pleaser. I found my worth in people rather than God. I wanted to be accepted.
But God had to empty me. To fill me again.
At night when things seemed dark, I only had God to call out to.
I trust this was part of His plan. He had me in that place for a reason.
Divorce causes one (and everyone left behind) to believe that they are unworthy of love.
Left feeling abandoned.
There is a gaping wound.
The tearing of the one-flesh union.
The splitting up of a family.
The wounds of fatherlessness.
Some people go straight out and try to prove that they are lovable. That they are worthy.
We can easily just find another human to fill my empty heart. Fill those “daddy” shoes.
To rescue us from what seems like a hard place to be.
Rescue the child from their hurts.
To “love” away our tears and the past abuse.
But God didn’t want that. He doesn’t want you (or me) to go down that same path, again. Losing our gaze on Him. Worshiping man.
He wants us to keep trusting in Him. To be a God pleaser. He wants so much better for those who were abused, abandoned, and forgotten.
He wants to make us whole.
Dysfunction is drawn to dysfunction. Healthy people are drawn to other healthy people.
With God, the future is filled with hope.
The same hope that Job had when he lost it all. He was emptied too.
The same hope that Ruth had after her husband died. She had to trust that her faithfulness would be rewarded.
The same faith that the woman with the bleeding disorder had in Mark 5… that healed her with just one touch of Jesus’ robe.
Hope is knowing that something good will come out of something bad.
There is hope in this whole house remodel. God has made His promises. Have faith. Faith in the unseen.
This remodel is for good. For your good. For the glory of God.
God is going to make a mansion out of that little dysfunctional shack. He is paving the way for a brighter future. A future free from generational curses and dysfunction.
He doesn’t just want to plaster and patch a few broken pieces. He doesn’t want to slap a band-aid over your wound.
He needs to do a whole-house overhaul, so He can come and live.
I pray you have no doubts if God is remodeling your house. Proper healing includes cleaning out the bad to make room for all the good. (And healthy boundaries too of course.)
God bless your healing journey,
Related Posts:
- Accepting the Care of the Father (After Divorce)
- Have a Strong Faith Like Hannah After Divorce
- Divorced But Not a “Broken Home”
This is so perfect for me right now. God is in the midst of remodeling my house (His house) here as well. Sooo many things had to change, and I knew it was Him as soon as the remodeling began. No doubts there. I’ll pray for you and if you could add me to your prayers I would really appreciate it. 🙂
Thank you for your prayers. I will pray for you as well Lindsey. Keep me posted on your remodel. 😉
Hope is knowing that something good will come out of something bad.
Yes! This is what I’m trying to hold on to.
Keep holding on LaToya! 🙂 Praying for you.
By experience, I know that even when you can’t hold on anymore, God is faithful! He will not let you go! “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5. God took me to a place where I knew that even my “trying to hold on” wasn’t good enough. “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9. God does have a plan for us. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10 Personally, I’m still waiting for Him to reveal His good plan. In the meantime, I’m learning to trust His and as a result, my faith is growing.
Amen Janell! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Jen,
I find everything that you share very practical. I have gone through the journey of divorce now for one year and many of the things that you have been mentioning have happened to me along the tough journey. I used to wonder why they happen the way they do, and because of this, at times i was in total confusion and also feeling like God had forgotten me. I also asked myself why God would forget me after serving Him all my life. After reading your articles, and being a devoted christian, i am starting to pick pieces and put them together and now i can see God in everything that i have gone through. I am also optimistic for a great future ahead. As long as i continue abiding on the true vine.
Good for you Esther. Keep doing what you’re doing and walking this road to healing. Glad to have you along. God bless!
I was in the pit during and after my divorce. Alone in that empty, cool and silent place. I was fighting for months and years trying to understand and to embrace the process. The only answer I received again and again was “Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted.” – Psalm 127:1a NLT I was sharing this verse with many friends and family that were looking for a reason. Today I understood better! TY so much Jen for sharing Making something beautiful after divorce. Today I’m amazing glad to God’s mercy and loving care for divorce’s people like me. He destroyed my ugliness and made something beautiful and new to His glory and honor! We are Blessed to Be a Blessing to others! Shalom.
Amen! God does care for separated and divorced women. Thank you for your kind words. Blessings to you, and yours, too!
I am fairly new to this and have been on my journey to healing for 4 years now. While in my marriage and then after my divorce, I know now that God was with me. His presence was always there, I just didn’t know it yet. I have learned that He never shall leave me or forsake me. I am currently cleaning house in my heart, mind and soul. I do believe that it was God’s plan for me to be exactly where I am today. My house is currently under construction, I can’t wait when open house is celebrated.
May God bless your healing journey, Sonia. Walking with you!
Oh my word this speaks to me. After my divorce, and I mean for years after I still went out there to look for validation because I felt so worthless. I looked for my worth in men and came back with shame instead of feeling I was worth something.
Only now 9 years later I believe that God wants to do something new and I am letting go of all that I have been holding on to.
Thank you Jen.
I’m glad you found this encouraging. I can relate – the need for validation. That’s awesome, you’re letting go. Glad to have you along on this journey and walking with you!
As my sister said: HE DID YOU A FAVOR. And I so, so agree!! I now sleep w/out meds, I just remodeled my home MY taste, MY choices. I entertain more and am having an Open house Christmas Tea next week.
I put him thru school. …I came up with the unique curriculum and idea for swim schools.
Now I flourish. I wake up every morning knowing I am {{{ SAFE }}}.