There are people who like to stay right where they are, in their pain and loss, and wait until things go back to the way they were. I know that’s not you! You’re reading this because you’re ready to get back up on your feet… and move forward after divorce. Or maybe you already have.

Staying right where you are would be like a bilateral amputee choosing lie in the hospital bed, just waiting for his legs to come back. That doesn’t make sense, does it? But many divorcees do this. They decide to sit and wait for things to change instead of doing the hard work to get back up on their feet, even if that means they’ll be a divorced woman.

An amputee can sit and mourn the loss of his legs for a short time. But eventually, he has to get up, sometimes pushing through the pain and emotional trauma, accepting that his legs are gone while accepting his recovery. It will be work while he finds the needed tools and support to persevere in this his newfound situation.

No one says he has to be happy about it… it’s just something he has to do.

 

What it means for the divorced woman.

 

Do you remember when Hillsong UNITED released the song Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) in early 2013? I do because that was when I was in the thick of my separation, being served divorce papers, dealing with financial abuse and figuring out how I was going to accept this path.

The song’s lyrics:

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

If you’re like me you have these words memorized and you just sang along. 🙂

It was the anthem that kept me going during a time when I just wanted things to go back to the way they were (just not including all the bad times). I was able to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when I felt like I was drowning. I knew God was calling me out onto this water… the great unknown… and He would never let me drown.

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. – Isaiah 43:2 NLT

 

You will not be consumed.

One of the several definitions of “consumed” is to be completely used up or destroyed. God may give you more than you can handle, but He promises that you’ll never be consumed by your struggle and trials.

[It is of] the LORD’s lovingkindnesses that we are not consumed, because his compassion doesn’t fail. – Lamentations 3:22 HNV

Although it may be hard to believe, God knew you’d be facing this trial at this point in your life. He knew before you were born that you’d experience a divorce. Yes, people (like your husband/ex-husband) have free-will to do what they please but He uses everything bad thing that happens for our good. He has plans to use your divorce and everything before it, for good. You just have to trust Him.

[You May Also Enjoy: God Will Work It All Out (After Divorce)]

 

Leave what you haven’t done behind you.

It can be so easy to say, “I didn’t finish college…” or “I haven’t had a job in 20, 30, 40 years…” to keep you stuck right where you are. But, so what if you haven’t done what others have done in their lifetime. So what, if you’re not where someone else is at your age?!

There will always be someone who’s done more than you. There will always be what seems like a competition for “success” in this world. But don’t focus on that! Instead, focus on what you have done – you raised your kids, you lived your life, or whatever you have done. Whatever it was, it’s what you needed to be doing during that time.

Accept where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing and walk towards something you’d like to do now, in this next chapter. We may never achieve the great success someone else has or is achieving but we can all work towards a better future. You just have to take that first step.

 

Walking with you on this journey.

When I was going through my divorce, I was not a college graduate, I had not worked outside the home since 2002, and I didn’t feel I had any skills to make it in the business world – or any job for that matter. I was lost on what I should be doing or which way to go.

Even when I decided that I should finish up my bachelor’s degree, I didn’t know what I would do or if I’d even use my degree. I just started taking my final classes and allowed God to guide me the rest of the way. I felt like He needed me to step out in faith to show me the rest of the path.

Still, to this day, I need to take a step asking for God’s grace and sovereign hand in where I should be headed in all that I do. This is the daily walk as we grow our faith and trust in His provision and protection.

So if God is asking you to step out on to the water, trust Him that you will not drown. I’ve been there and I survived. You will too!

[You May Also Enjoy: When You Struggle With Uncertainty (Trusting God With The Future)]

 

Has God asked you or is He asking you to step out… to get back on your feet? Remember you will not be consumed!

God bless your healing journey,