In the last week alone, I have talked to several Moms who are struggling in one way or another.
Moms who are picking up the pieces of a broken marriage. From a divorce, they never saw coming. Adultery they never wanted in their marriage. Pieces from allowing abuse to be seen by their children, that had gone on for way too long. Tried – single or still married – Moms who have their hands full.
Moms who are not respected by their children.
I lie in the dust; revive me by your word. I weep with sorrow; encourage me by your word. Remember your promise to me; it is my only hope. Your promise revives me;
it comforts me in all my troubles. Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. – Psalms 119:25,28,50,105 NLT
Moms with a child or two who no longer speak to them.
Moms with suicidal teens.
A Mom with a drug-addicted adult child.
A Mom who had to call the police on her child, again for the hundredth time, this week.
And even Moms who are not allowed to see their child because an abusive ex-spouse has won the entitlement to take the child away. (Toxic people do this.)
The sadness continues as Moms fear this happening to them. Fear of losing their child for no good reason.
And more Moms that I can count, who feel like they have no control over what happens next, no matter how hard they pray.
Then, there is the inner turmoil that screams… What a failure I am as a Mother. Look at this imperfect life… it must be proof that I am doing it all wrong.
This is real life for a lot of Moms. The dirty, nasty truth!
Moms with their face to the floor every single day. Feeling that they are in the wilderness. Crying out to God for deliverance and understanding.
This messy life causes us Moms so much pain and hurt.
For many women, Mother’s Day (as well as other holidays and birthdays) has become a harsh reminder of the fact that our lives include these struggles. A reminder that life has handed us something different than what others seem to have.
We are trying so hard to be the best Mother that we can be, with our children, but nothing seems to get better.
For some Mother’s Day is just another day. There is no special dinner or special treatment.
No, “I love you, Mom!“
And going to church is equally hard if she goes at all. The Mother’s Day message is just a reminder of the partner that is gone or the child who won’t visit. The unwelcome feeling of… I do not fit in here.
Oh, how the pain might overtake us on this day even if we try so hard to hold it in.
Pain that hurts!
If you see yourself in any of these circumstances, please know you are not alone!
We are free to struggle, free to hurt.
Pain is real.
Life is hard.
We would have to be a cardboard box not to be affected by all of these grim truths.
You, Mom, are doing the best that you can with what you’ve been given.
We cannot choose how others treat us or what happens in life.
I know you feel like a failure inside when all these things are going on and we know there is nothing, but pray, that we can do about it.
I won’t give you any of those overused clichés about “things happen for a reason” or “this is strengthening your character.”
NO! You no longer have to pretend.
You are hurting.
Although, I will say this…
God is still in control.
You are seen. You are heard. God loves you. Calls you His beloved.
Your value is based on that, and that alone.
Hiding our troubles and sadness will not make it go away. We must be real and deal with our hurts and our pain, in order to move forward. Working through the grief takes time.
Be honest with God. He can handle it.
Sit there and mourn, cry, and hurt. It’s okay! No judgment from me. I’ve been there.
[I]n the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. – 2 Timothy 3:1-4 NLT
We should NEVER get our value or worth from how well our children are handling this life.
We cannot stop our children from making wrong choices nor can we stop others… or God from taking them from us.
Motherhood holds no value in eternity.
But we can understand that this world is quickly coming to an end and these things that cause us so much pain, will also come to an end.
Our tears will be wiped away.
In the meantime, we can keep our eyes on Jesus.
Keep praying and doing our best.
Living and breathing and surviving.
He is coming back soon.
Your pain is proof of that.
We are homesick.
Our heart aches for something this world cannot offer.
On Mother’s Day.
And every day!
[You may also enjoy: Child Estrangement After Divorce (Mothers Being Erased)]
May God comfort you in this healing journey,