Sometimes my mind tells me that I’m not worthy.
No, I’m not crazy… nor am I hearing voices. It’s my insecurity talking. We all do it. Allow our feelings to control the thoughts in our mind… and sometimes even our actions.
My insecurities sometimes stop me in my tracks. Stop me from continuing down God’s path. They tell me that I’m not worthy enough to be a writer, for success in anything that I do, or to help heal other women. I’m not educated enough or even emotionally strong enough. Maybe even not healed enough, myself.
This usually happens when I’m struggling, or things don’t seem to be going just right. (Even while writing this very post my internet messed up for a few minutes and many paragraphs were lost. Then later my entire blog was down for a short time. It always seems like something is trying to stop me continuing.)
On those days that I forgot to read my Bible or I put it off to do other things. Or when someone who doesn’t even know me criticizes my motives or my words. (You have to have pretty tough skin – and not be easily offended – to be on the internet, that’s for sure.) Some days my own flesh allows people to get to me. And all of that affects my mind.
But that is when I have to tell my brain… and my critics…to “shut up!“
Shut out the noise.
Because when we quiet the noise and silence the lies, we’re better able to hear the Truth. Better able to focus on who we are in Christ. And focus on what His plan is for our lives.
Our insecurities want to tell us, we are what happened to us, what we’ve done, or what people call us… “divorced” or worse. The scars left at the deepest level of our hearts.
Maybe words that you tell yourself.
I believe in order to change your mindset to a “thriving mindset,” in order to really embrace this life as a “redeemed woman,” you must work through each part of your past, each pain, each word, and trigger that holds you back for moving forward.
Personally, I have yet to work through every wound from my own past – this may be a lifelong process – but do I know the secret to having a thriving mindset.
Feed your mind and your heart.
The secret is to feed yourself with Truth. Many times a day if needed, especially in the beginning.
Sadly, many Christ-followers are not reading their Bibles on a daily basis. They forget the Word is the food we need to feed our minds positive nourishment and encouragement. It’s the key that unlocks our freedom and your healing.
Yes, even you! His words will feed your heart. Allowing you to heal your heart (after divorce).
God moves us forward by healing our past. One word at a time. One subject at a time. And of course one scar at a time.
When we listen to Truth we hear a totally different story than what’s in our brain.
My favorite website, I’ve used in my own healing is OpenBible’s Topical Bible (where you can do a topical search of the entire Bible using the ESV version). I just pick a word or a phrase that is holding me back from my heart healing, search it on that site, click the link to open the verse on Bible Gateway (changing to my favorite version), and then read what the Bible says about that topic. (I use it to help me find the appropriate verses for my writing as well.)
Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. – Ephesians 4:23 NLT (Emphasis mine.)
Learn you are loved.
Reading your Bible each time you feel rejected, discouraged, lonely, or unloved will remind you, you’re never alone. And you are loved with an unconditional love that can’t be found in anyone else.
And as you feed your mind this Truth, you’ll pick up verses to remind you to speak value, worth, and love to feed your mind. Speak the Word, hear the Word, and digest the Word. The mind will believe what you tell it. So, feed it faith. Feed it hope. Feed your mind Truth.
We can let the enemy control our thought process or we can allow the Holy Spirit to guide and encourage us. We only have the mindset shift when we’re so full of God’s word that we crowd out all the other voices and the noise of this world.
Truth says… you are loved! Now believe it!
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39 NLT
Many days growing and learning in Him,
PS. My first title for this was “Having a Post-Divorce Thriving Mindset.” Then I realized that no matter who you are or what’s your marital status (or even if you’ve never married) we all need to get our mindset right in order to do anything. So although I write mostly for divorced Christian women, this can apply to any Jesus-follower.