I believe any good mother will make the ultimate sacrifice for her children.
We give of ourselves every single day. As single, divorced mothers, we work hard to provide for our children. We pay for what they need and sometimes want because we only want to see them happy. When they are hurting, we hurt with them. When they’re sick we lose sleep, sleep in a chair, or risk losing our jobs just to make sure they are well taken care of and healthy again. We sacrifice ourselves for them!
Sometimes at a cost.
The cost is ourselves.
I share in my book how I found out that I have Lupus the same month that my (now ex-) husband completely checked out of our marriage – leaving the kids and me without food or any financial support. It was then I saw my marriage heading down the same path it had been down before. And my body was taking the brunt of many years of devoting my life to making him and my children happy.
Putting everyone else first was killing me from the inside out, and I knew I would die if I didn’t start seeing myself as equally important as everyone else. At that point I realized I had no other choice but to start taking care of myself, because honestly, there was no one else around to do it. Some of us have to learn to take care of ourselves in the most difficult season of life. – You Can Survive Divorce: Hope, Healing, and Encouragement for your Journey
Why is self-care important during divorce?
Self-care is important for everyone but especially for divorcing and single mothers. Because you’re just as important as anyone else in this world (in case you forgot or didn’t know).
And because in order to love and care for others you must love yourself and take your basic needs seriously. On top of that practicing self-care, even just small extras just for you, to fuel you so you can be the most loving and caring person that you can be. We give from the overflow. Those who are depleted emotionally and physically have nothing left to give.
Sometimes if the budget is tight or our kid’s needs are more important, we forget how we can practice self-care at home for less. That’s why I’ve created a printable sheet with 45 frugal ways to practice self-care. For better practice, you can pick one every single day. 🙂
Sign up to get access to the Encouraging Printables Library which now includes this 8.5″ x 11″ printable – 45 Ways to Practice Self-Care.
How to be mindful of self-care during (and after) divorce?
- Make sure you’re eating 5-6 small meals a day
- Make sure you’re getting plenty of sleep
- Don’t drink/eat too much caffeine
- Drink plenty of water
- Take a break when you feel overwhelmed
- Get with God every day in prayer and Bible reading
- Schedule activities or time to practice self-care (see printable sheet)
Taking care of the body God has given you is equally as important as fueling yourself to care for others. Whatever you take from your body, time and energy, you need to replace. So if you have an emotional meeting or court date scheduled for one week, you should also schedule something just for yourself that same week. This is all while scheduling the time to eat and sleep, which is just as important as getting to that meeting.
Learn from my mistakes, take care of your body or deal with serious health issues, either now or later. I use my phone to schedule and remind me of these things – like getting to bed on time, taking my Lupus medication (which keeps me alive), or even stopping to rest after a full day writing, parenting (I’m also a homeschool mom), and coaching.
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DaySpring generously donated a “Be Still” Natural Wax and Wood Wick Candle in Fresh Cotton and a “You’re Braver Than You Even Imagine” Inspirational Mug to one reader. And I have personally donated the “Hope in the Lord Always” Wirebound Journal, a Bic Intensity Fine-Tip Purple Marker Pen, and a copy of my book to the second. Winners were notified via email.
Have you learned a new way to care for yourself? How will you be more mindful and schedule time, or plan for self-care this week?
God bless your healing journey,