A friend and I recently sat down to catch up at a local coffee shop. We went through our divorces around the same time so we’ve been on this journey to healing together. Often times encouraging each other along the way. Although our circumstances may look a little different at times, we’ve done similar learning and emotional healing in the last 3 years.
The emotional healing that takes courage to get through. We’ve both come so far, we reminded ourselves. Then we talked about our next steps. Where God was taking us. Stretching us even more, so we can grow.
She shared how she’s going on a tropical vacation soon. Her and another single woman. This is something she’s never done before, so I applaud her bravery and courage to take that big step.
I believe that first really big step, that scary one that rattles your core just a little (or a lot), is the step needed to keep working on your healing. I think we learn a lot about ourselves and about our strengths when we step out on that bridge with trepidation. Wondering how we’ll make it. Reminding ourselves that we can and will get through this. And then we break through the fear… and just go.
Make daring moves. Uncomfortable firsts. Trusting God the whole time.
For all of us, that first looks very different. Some need to crawl back into life while others decide to jump. (I’m not talking about back into another marriage ladies. 😉 )
I’ve seen women go to the movies or take themselves out to eat alone. (I need to do that. I lack that confidence. I’m a baby step kind of person.)
I’ve seen others go back to college or work towards becoming what they always wanted to be after an oppressive marriage. Some became midwives. Lawyers. Activists and advocates for women and children. Writers. 😉 Or entrepreneurs.
I’ve seen saddened mothers physically let go of their own children to ex-husbands… trusting God to work it all out for good, even when they know that’s not the best environment for the child.
I’ve seen courageous women (another blogger) pack up kids, all of their belongings and move across the country for a new life. I see another blog writer, friend thriving in Alaska.
Those kinds of steps forward take courage.
It takes courage to get out of bed, put one foot in front of the other, and decide to do scary things. New things. Things that make you feel uncomfortable even though you know it’s the right move. To get yourself from where you are… to over there. Or to let go of things you can’t control.
That first step often comes with lots of fears. Fears of the unknown. Fears of failure. Of making huge mistakes. Of messing things up.
But who’s got your back?
You do!
And God does… just like He took care of Ruth and Naomi!
Do something different. Break out of your comfort zone.
Anything different from what you’re doing now takes courage. Courage to stand up to that fear of failure or of the unknown.
I can sit and make excuses… or tell myself it just won’t work out, all day long.
But what if…
What if it’s the bridge that brings you to healing?
What if it’s the bridge to the rest of your story?
What if the next chapter includes some amazing things…
You never know until you just step.
What if…
You fill in the blank.
Not with an excuse… but a goal that you want to achieve.
A feeling of freedom.
Happiness.
Something for yourself.
What if there are consequences? What if I don’t want to face those consequences?
Leave that in God’s hands. Those consequences, as hard as they are to deal with, may be part of the plan. Consequences for yourself. Consequences for your kids.
Whatever they are… God knows the ending. He’s already there.
You can’t get there until you take that first step.
Embrace this new chapter, after divorce. God goes before you… and with you.
It ends well.
Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:8-9 NLT
Growth and healing are not about perfection, but about progress. What steps will you be taking that encourages your healing progress, even if it’s scary?
God blessing your healing journey,
Book Recommendations:
I was a stay-at-home mom for 7 years when my ex up and left out of the blue. It took courage to look for work, write a new resume and go to job interviews with a gaping heart wound and children to care for. It took courage to get licensed in a new state. It took courage to trust every job rejection would lead to something better… and it did.
70 job applications later, 3.5 months after my agonizing divorce was final, with only 2 weeks of alimony left, God provided a job I didn’t even apply for- that turned out to be better than the ones I applied for.
I got a job teaching a grade I never taught before- that I was scared to teach, only days before school started. My confidence grows each day as I see the favor God has gifted me with, but my insides churn every day reaching out to God for the strength and wisdom to do a job I’ve never done before. I’m doing it, bit by bit, and processing my grief bit by bit as I watch God amazingly rebuild my life.
My word this year is Rise. I will rise from the ashes of unwanted divorce and trust the forward facing beauty my Savior has for me.
PTL for taking care of you… and your children!! I am rooting you on as you “rise” out of those ashes. May God bless you this year and the years to come. Glad to have you here.