Why do I have to be going through a divorce?
Why didn’t my husband stay faithful?
Why doesn’t God make my husband change?
Why doesn’t God fix my marriage?
Why does God allow these bad things to happen to faithful Christians?
We’ve all thought these or similar things during and after divorce. They are very normal thoughts and feelings, for anyone facing a difficult trial. Having questions doesn’t make you a “bad Christian” or even no longer a Christian.
Your faith is being tested… and you need find your hope.
These and other negative thoughts while questioning God lead to hopelessness.
Hopeless: a feeling or state of despair; having no expectation of good or success; incapable of redemption or improvement. (Source)
Hopelessness leads to doubting God and His promises. Many women lose their faith during the trial of divorce. But hope and faith are things this ministry wants to strengthen in you – divorcing and divorced women.
You can and will get through this… you just need to know how.
First, you need to believe the devil is a liar.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say…” – Genesis 3:1 ESV
We want to claim the promises that God has made to us but the devil whispers to us, “Did God really say that?” We want to hold onto hope that things will get better even if that means we let go of the hope that God will change our husbands.
But the devil causes confusion. He’s been doing this ever since the first woman walked the earth. He knows that hope is found in faith. And he wants you to doubt that.
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. – 1 Peter 5:8 NLT
“Did God actually say… there is hope for you?”
“Did God actually say… He will protect you from further harm?”
“Did God actually say… He will provide of you (and your children)?”
“Did God actually say… He loves divorced women when He hates divorce so much?”
“Did God actually say… _________?”
The devil wants to you believe these lies, that God is not going to do what He said He’s going to do… all throughout the Bible. He has a redemption plan in place… even for divorced women. We just have to have faith! Faith like Ruth. Faith like Abraham, Sarah, and Rehab.
“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” – Mark 9:23-24 NLT
God may not fix your broken marriage but He promises to repair and rebuild your life. That’s His redemption story. This unwanted divorce is an opportunity for God to prove to you, and those watching, that He can be trusted. That He will provide, protect, and redeem your story.
He will grow your faith in Him.
For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. – James 1:3 NLT
Even in doubt or bitterness, during and after divorce, God still extends His loving-kindness to His people. Naomi wanted to be known as Mara because she felt that “the Almighty has made life very bitter for me.” (Ruth 1:20) And yet, God still cared for and redeemed her and Ruth.
Even the disciples, who had Jesus in the flesh, doubted what He was capable of until they saw it with their own eyes. Jesus allowed them to see Him and touch Him after His death to prove He really arose after death. God understands that we’ll question Him and what He is doing, but that doesn’t change Him or how He feels about us. We want to understand the purpose so we question.
These trials help to grow our faith, just as the Bible recounts the many real stories of people’s lives. I’m reminded of this everytime I read Hebrews 11. These are all Biblical examples of faith being tested while they endured. They all received a place of honor in God’s redemption story because they didn’t listen to the lies of the enemy… but instead believed God to be the person He says He is. They too were tested and their faith grew as they endured.
So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. – James 1:4 NLT
Pray, even when it’s difficult.
One difficult day during my divorce trial, I tried to give up on God. The enemy was telling me God had forsaken me and I was in fact abandoned by everyone. I had been a faithful wife and Christian, so I wondered why I was facing this trial. I told God I was done being a Christian if this was the pain I’d have to deal with (me acting in my feelings instead of the knowledge I had).
Then the Holy Spirit, which I had received after my baptism, started to speak through me and pray. I tried and couldn’t stop it. But instantly I felt peace in my heart. I cried out to God with the real feelings I was having, and He spread His cover over me bathing me with comfort and security (like He did for Ruth). It was then I knew I was going to be okay, as long as I kept my faith His promises.
Perseverance is not giving up when things seem to be outside of God’s sovereign protection.
I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles. – Psalm 34:4-6 NLT
How is your faith growing through this divorce trial? Feel free to share your struggles or encouragement with others. We’re on this divorce journey together.
God bless your healing journey,