Man Training {please do not disturb}


First… I am not comparing my child to a dog… nor am I comparing my son to training a dog… but with that said… I need to put a sign on my son that reads…



“Man Training Please Do Not Disturb!”

If you remember last week I mentioned, that my son turned 10… and it’s time to start treating him like a man
. The time to train him, to be a man, is getting shorter and shorter. At this point I need to take every opportunity to teach him to be a man… no longer just a boy. Boy training is easy… just let them play and enjoy life. You only live once, right? Might as well let him, live it up! To that I say… NO! Yes, we only live once… why not do it right! I want my boy to know it’s not about his happiness… but about his holiness.

Man training is much different from boy training and more difficult… especially in today’s culture. So much has changed in the last 100 years. The norms of yesterday are actually the opposite today. But, I still expect him to open and hold the door. My daughter and I will wait for him to open doors {yes, as silly and selfish as we may look}. And he will often run and open my car door, even without me asking, especially if it is raining or my hands are full. He needs to practice serving others, especially the women in his life.

But for some reason we always get the woman or even elderly person who doesn’t allow him to hold the door for them, when we go somewhere. They see an almost 90 pound boy. And I see a man in training. And then I have to say… “I’m sorry I am training him to hold the door.” Often I get the look of, why?! To which I have to say… why not? There are not enough boys doing so these days… and do you think they will all of a sudden pick up this habit at age 18, without any instruction before hand? I think history shows us that unless they are trained from a young age to do so… they won’t! He has to learn these values from somewhere; I’d rather it be me.

To me, this is not against feminism {or for it}. I’m just talking about good old-fashioned manliness and servanthood. I want my boy to grow up to be a godly man. A man who is willing to lay down his life for his family. To be sacrificial. A man who is willing to be like Jesus… and love his family like the church. And I firmly believe that if left to society’s teaching of “to be a man”… he won’t. He will be a lifelong boy. I am not ready to overhaul our culture here… just want to “man train” at least one future man!



What does man training look like?


  • Teach boys that he will never be perfect {and that no one will… especially his parents}
  • Teach boys to serve others {especially women, children, and the elderly}
  • Teach boys that society is going to teach him that it’s okay to be selfish and prideful {and that he’ll be pulled to be that way as well}
  • Teach boys to humble himself when he makes a mistake and repentant before God {repent = wholeheartedly turn away from his sin}
  • Teach boys to be more like Jesus {and to view Jesus as his model}
  • Teach boys how to date {how to respect women and treat them with loving kindness}
  • Teach boys to pray alone and with others {how to lead in prayer}
  • Teach boys the importance of reading his Bible
  • Teach boys to have feelings other than anger {and how to express feelings}
  • Teach boys to have empathy for others {teach them how to care for more than just themselves}
  • Teach boys to finish what he starts {and that quitting is the easy route}
  • Teach boys to be proud of himself {and not look to others to validate him}
  • Teach boys how to have appropriate intimacy with women {starting with mom and sisters}
  • Teach boys to shield their minds from inappropriate images {more on this in another post}


I think it is very important for moms to learn to how to raise their sons to be the courageous man that they are called to be {by God}. It’s not something that will come naturally for you or for them… especially if it is not something that was modeled in your childhood. If your son has a godly man example then things are much easier, as you know. But if not, then find someone for your boy… to model {ehm… Jesus} and partner with God {He is our first Father} to raise a godly man. We could certainly use a few more in this world.





Many days growing and learning in Him,



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